I am usually so offended by people's stupidity that it's amazing that I can go to sleep each day without getting a heart attack. But today, the level of stupidity was unbearable. First, some Mozilla whores rant on and on about how much of an idiot I am, despite the fact they act little kindergarten students all eager to shout their stupid opinions at me. To make matters worse, I went to the Recording Industry Association of America's (RIAA) homepage. I felt like puking out everything between my rectum and throat. Maybe it was this image on their homepage that sent me over the edge:
Honestly, who the hell sings like that? What master Photoshop user decided to put a few random ass dots on the left? And why is the bitch flat as a washboard?
Browsing thru the site, I found this neat (and by "neat" I mean sell-out) page with a bunch of quotes by some crappy artists who support the RIAA. Instead of keeping their idiotic opinions to themselves, these major league whiners have the audacity to publish these quotes online.
Missy Elliot says, "Hip Hop has always been about the attainable dream - about running your own business, your own club, your own fanzine." Hmmm, let's see now. The argument ends right here and now when I say, "You were the hoe with that other hoe in the GAP ads." It's plain and simple: If you choose to promote crappy image based companies that sell overpriced shit, your voice has been demoted to zero. Remembering that she was in those awful ads, I was prompted to go to GAP.com.
I come across this overly feminist picture, glaring me in the eyes. Wishing I had glaucoma, I had to look in absolute horror.
Well what a good way to advertise, to ultra-feminist lesbians that is. Two women attached by their asses, wildly grabbing at each other. If Madonna wasn't a senior citizen and Missy Elliot (isn't that a guy's name, by the way?) so ugly, I could see how this lesbo advertisement might get the other sex into GAP stores. But as things stand, GAP has alienated anyone who gags when they see Ellen DeVeneralDiseases.
Anyways, back to the sellouts quote page. Brooks & Dunn said, "We want the next Brooks & Dunn to have a chance. Piracy hurts that chance." First off all, I havent heard their music, but since it's country, odds are very good that it sucks major. Secondly, what's up with this "next Brooks & Dunn" self-righteous bullshit babble? If they are already so secure in their famedom, why don't they retire and not worry about people downloading their crappy music? Arrogance and greed don't sit well together, Hookers & Dunce.
My favorite artist of all time, Skankira said, "Making an album is a team effort, so when somebody pirates a record that not only affects the artist, but also the people who worked on it like co-producers, co-writers and musicians. Say no to piracy." First, what kind of music does Shakira have? By the silence I'll assume that she has no music. In fact, the only reason she and other whores (Silicone Spears and Anal Aguilera) are famous is because guys enjoy watching them shake their flabby asses around. I mean does anyone know the lyrics to any Shakira song? And maybe if she played any other instrument besides dacock, she wouldn't have to be concerned about paying so many people around her. But I do agree with the RIAA on this one. Anyone who downloads Shakira's music ought to be shot. I mean seriously, it's crap. In conclusion, say no to Skankira.
The Dixie Chicks said, "It may seem innocent enough, but every time you illegally download music a songwriter doesn't get paid." As with Skankira, if these inbred whores wrote their own songs, they wouldn't have to worry about people around them. All I can say is that these rednecks should be happy with their millions of dollars and shut the hell up.
After scrolling down the page for what seemed like hours, I finally found a band that didn't have the usual parroting of "Support music, don't steal." In fact, ZOEgirls (lame name) went above and beyond the call of stupidity. Here is their quote, "People need to be educated on the fact that if piracy continues at the current rate, very soon there will simply NOT BE the amazing music that is out there now." The RIAA page informed me that these prissy girls were making music in the genre of Contemporary Christian, also known as "foul smelling garbage that has been left rotting for a week with scattered amounts of feces." If they mean to imply that there is amazing music today, then all I can say is "Lord have mercy." What Would Jesus Do? Send these girls straight to hell for lying. But not before they died in a horrible accident where they choked to death on the millions of dollars they shaft from the idiots who buy their crappy CD's. "Sell all you have" appearantly means "Shove $20 CD's down people's throats" to these hypocrites.
Because I haven't heard them, I was actually "interested" in what lousy voice this ZOEgirl group has. Unfortunatly Kazaa doesn't have any of their vile rat feces to download. Gee, you suck too much to be even "pirated." Oh, HOEgirls, your failure to comprehend simple facts gets you a fun picture:
A fatass named Duncan said, "The retail music industry is in a severe decline, largely as a result of illegal file sharing." Let's not kid ourselves. This severe decline is because no one wants to buy CD's from talentless shmucks who can't even play their own instruments. Maybe if more TALENT was in the music industry then people would buy CD's. The real reason the fascist RIAA doesn't want you to download songs is because once you've heard the song, you won't want to buy it.
The this arrogant fart went on to say, "[some bullshit]...hundreds of people have been put out of work..." Amazingly Duncan you aren't out of work, too bad. It's always the little people who are fired, not the stars. So Mr Arrogant Fart stop trying to be emotional in your argument when all you want is more money to buy enough donuts for your gluttonous ass.
Then some jackass who's name isn't worth my time to quote says, "[lies and lies]... jobs have been lost, advertising spending and charitable contributions have been reduced or cut out altogether, capital projects have been delayed, we've paid less local and federal taxes...[more lies]" Interesting. So he paid less taxes. That's called income tax fraud.
Another dullard says, "How would you feel if someone came in to your home and began taking everything they wanted that looked cool." Quite frankly, I'd beat the shit out of you. Then I'd make you listen to your shitty music as punishment.
The pansy lead singer of Everclear had the shriveled pruney balls to say, "It's taking money out of my kid's mouth." Maybe if good old Art Alexakis wasn't a COCAINE addict, Junior wouldn't be starving. What a hypocrite! Help "Sniffy" Art support his kid and his COCAINE habit, buy his CD's. Some people just want to make me vomit. P.S. Art, maybe if you renamed your damn band from a substance that is pure alcohol, I could begin to sympathize with you and your underweight kid.
Some other greedy bastard says, "Illegal Internet downloading significantly reduces the income of people who are not making millions from touring, t-shirt sales, etc., but merely trying to make a decent living." If this star was so concerned, maybe he should donate his own money to this underpaid staff. After all, it's the staff that works, not the star. Of course, that's just greedy babble from someone who isn't satisfied with the millions he's already earnt.
At this point, my brain exploded across the computer screen from all these greedy money-grabbing asses.
Watch this Flash movie about how much the RIAA sucks. It's hilarious.