Well quite frankly, in principle yes. I take pride in being the only Westerner to suggest that we do what bin Laden wants us to do. But I don't want to be selfish, so let me share his brilliant idea. Read this essay and you too will agree with Osama.
Why was Al Qaeda forced to attack the US on September 11, 2001? Because America staunchly and deliberately refused to pull out from Muslim lands, namely (but not only) Saudi Arabia. It's usually a good idea to at least try to listen to people who threaten to blow apart your country. But this administration and past administrations have not bothered. The old line of "we won't negotiate with terrorists" sounds more like "you're not my friend anymore" from second grade. And why not pull out Muslim lands? It's not like apart from dirty flag burners and inbred bastard lying royals that Saudi Arabia (and other Muslim countries) has anything good to offer.
The usual whine is "But we need Middle Eastern oil!" Unfortunately, that's as much crap that passes thru a high school toilet on any given day. Fact: Middle Eastern oil only accounts for one-fourth of all oil used in America. Fact: If everyone buddied up with someone else (thereby pulling a large percentage of the cars off the road), there would be no need for this oil. So why stay in Muslim land if there is no need for the oil?
When I, Andras, become president upon the resignation of George W. Bush or something like that, my first order of business would be an address to the American people:
In order to protect America, I have decided to pull out in every possible way of all Muslim nations. American corporations have 48 hours to suspend their business activities. American citizens are requested to pack up and leave immediately. This of course is in accordance with Osama Bin Laden's wishes. Because America wishes not to live in fear anymore and have thousands more massacred, all members of Al Qaeda are given full pardons. The American people and I wish the best of luck to the now America-independent nations.
Because the Middle East is dependant on America buying it's only resource (not the other way around), they would economically collapse without our purchases. Even in tight government-controlled economies, the inevitable collapse could only be averted for a few months. Unemployment would skyrocket, inflation would run rampant, food shortages would threaten regimes, chaos would gobble hundreds of millions of people. Just like Beowulf, Muslim nations would spiiiiiiiiral down. Instead of finding a sword at the bottom of some nasty cesspool (Imperial Point for example), Muslim countries would find a trophy congratulating them on their perpetual stupidity.
Just about the time food rationing would roll around, instead of 95% of the Saudis supporting Osama, 95% would support a move to become the 51st state of the United States. And since they would be desperate as hell, we could do what capitalism does best: screw people. That's right. When the Saudis come knocking on my Oval Office they'd say "Please, Allah willing, buy our oil, even at half price!" I'd say "Hmmmm... Mr. Al-Sayyed Muhammed bin Yaser Zawaalalihi bin Al-Saud m'kay... Well, I'm awfully busy this month in America. I have photo-ops with school kids, manicure appointment, and fishing. How about we discuss this in a few weeks?" You get the damn pattern: haggle all the way until the Saudis accept to the most humiliating terms.
The real funny thing is that this would work, with the right leadership (me of course). But because Bush isn't out to rule the world (as his opponents completely falsely argue), but to make a few baseball buds a few million dollars richer, this cannot happen. The real reason Osama suggested for America to pull out was exactly because this would never ever happen. As long as America in any way occupies Muslim countries, Osama will be seen as a hero and his Al Qaeda whores as martyrs fighting against the evil infidels. He knows the day America would pull out, fundamentalists would realize that it's America that's putting food into the same mouth from which filthy lies come out of.
