Andkon is the shining bacon of the 21st century, single-handedly leading humanity out of the uncertain present. Apart from managing the world's best arcade, he writes daily to cultivate the ignorant masses
Google Sucks Monkey Testicles
This is rather particular. Go to google.com and search for andkon. My website comes up on page four... [URL] That's odd isn't it? As the popularity and visitors increase, my ranking for my own name goes down.
I also made a comic about Google sucking.
And google is said to be a company that's gonna be worth $20 billion (yes billion) when it goes public. I wonder how many other thousands of sites (with really good content) are pretty much locked out of the Internet this way. Google was good at indexing and ranking pages before people KNEW that google was doing this. After that, google was no longer an impartial measuring stick. However, even with such major league assholery from Hairy Pagina and SirGay ButtRim, this site continued to grow. According to my server stats, even on New Year's Eve I had over 1,000 visitors.
The website has now been continously up without major interruptions for about a year now. 2003 began with andkon.com virtually unknown outside Mozilla circles. The arcade at this time didn't have a returning source of visitors. The articles numbered less than a ten. However, under the brilliant leadership of Andras, the Andkon Arcade has increased in stature and promises to rise to a spot in the top 10,000 most visited websites by its second anniversary.
While January thru June saw growth, the meager increases were wiped clean by the stagnant summer months. Real growth started in October when the visitor count tripled to 18,000. Novemeber saw similiar growth with over 35,000 visitors. December ends with over 50,000 visitors and over 385,000 page views. At this rate, the arcade can expect 300,000 visitors with over 2 million page views per month by summer.
A grave problem that faces this massive expansion is rising cost. Being the biggest online arcade in terms of number of games, having no income is no help to the piling hosting costs. While a donation drive was tried, it wasn't vigorously pursued enough to be effective. A last-ditch effort donation drive, to start in mid-January, will try to raise enough money for the Arcade to continue uninterruptedly. If not enough money is raised, text-links will be made available for purchase. With over 20,000 page views on weekdays, low-cost text ads would clearly be a bargain.
Stuf Archives will take more of an active role during this next year. Mozilla continues to be a big visitor maker though the writing section doesn't depend on large numbers for upkeep. In nice developments, higher ups in Mozilla have been quite supportive of the latest essay.
The HTML Tutorial which has been untouched for over a year and a half will be completely remade. Essentially, it will teach anyone how to make a cool sleek site, like this one. In fact, most of the tutorial is going to be dedicated to working examples, so good designs will be throughly dissected. It will leave other tutorials and references in the dust. If the arcade brings in enough money to get me to hosting, I might also offer free hosting for tutorial takers and normal pay hosting. The big roadblock to getting the tutorial started is coming up with a design that incorporates everything that tutorial teaches (since the tutorial itself will be used as an example) without making it look like a bloated elephant.
All in all, 2004 looks like a real promising year: Best Arcade, Best Tutorial, and Best Rants.
Six entirely new games were released today (Atari Pang, Dopewars, Cluster, Bomberman, Moonstar, and Double) plus two new sizes (mini and full screen) for Stoneroids. The game count stands at over 165.
Lava Lamp Arrives!
I JUST got my silver base giant 52 oz. Lava Lamp. The liquid is blue while the poop in it is yellow, giving it a nice tinge of green. The box says something to the effect that I have to wait 2-3 hours until the lamp reaches it's "optimal temperature" and color. Right now it looks kinda frozen and dead. I'll update later today and post a pic when it looks different from the "half-defrosted TV dinner" pose it's in.
Update (3:36PM): The stuff is beginning to melt and is forming in balls quite similar to goat crap. Meanwhile I am Andkonifying some games.
Update (7:36PM): The stuff has melted but little droplets are clouding the big blobs, making it somewhat blurry. Hopefully the blurred effect will subside. Anyways, six games are ready for uploading and etc.
Update (10:54PM): The lava lamp seems to be getting clearer as the droplets are being less annoying and going away. However, it's still kinda hazy. I'm writing/finishing up a new articles. The new games are going to be uploaded tomorrow, while I'm waiting a bit to upload the articles.
Update (5:19PM, the next day): The haziness is completely gone and it looks awesome.
Dlgate, the best game ever.
I finished a few articles today, which will be uploaded later. I have also decided that the best game I have is Dlgate. It appears that people have been too retarded to figure out how the highscore feature works: After it says GAME OVER (with BIG letters) press H. See if you can beat the few highscores that are up.
Nothing in Particular
Because I woke up at about 2, I missed out on all the boring things that were happening. Actually, I saw this Compass Bank sign where the P's lights went out and it read ASS BANK. That was rather funny:
New Comic Strip Thing
Continued tinkerings on this site today: a new favicon can be seen with the site initials "ak" in the logo's font. (Only applies to those who bookmark the site in IE or those who use Opera or Mozilla derivatives.) Also, the top left logo now comes in four new flavors: unflattering George W, decorated Yuri Gagarin, Bernini's David, and the classic George Washington. Press refresh to see the new logo. I think I'll call these refreshable logos the "Important Men in History" collection. And if that wasn't enough, this blog is doubled on the front, in case you missed the day before's post.
But the most important thing today was the new Polyester comic strip I made. Truly hilarious if you know what it's about.
Andkon Arcade is expanding
Although the arcade is already the biggest Java arcade on the planet, or rather the UNIVERSE, time has come for an expansion. Apart from the promised card games, I'm also adding a few other random games in as well. Now, there's over 150 games, before school resumes, there might be as much as 170. Wow. The ever expanding arcade.
Incompetence of the Day:
Even with Christmas around, the arcade still managed just 4000 pageviews, with over 600 unique visitors. While about a fourth of a regular day, the Christmas numbers are certianly higher than even months before. I'm working on new articles and finishing old ones that were shelved a long time ago. To make these blog updates more timely, I will also try to get file them before 9pm each day so everyone doesnt have to read them the next day, hopefully it keeps things fresher.
In other news: The Andkon Arcade division of Andkon.com announced that new card games are expected to come around before Andkon CEO and President resumes for school in early January. The same division's manager also announced plans for a vigorous donation drive, but has already contacted ad agencies in case the donation campaign fails. "While a move towards ads is unlikely," said the manager, "information about current real ad rates certainly doesn't hurt." He added that currently no more than $30 is needed to keep the website up, but that hosting costs would rise dramatically in the very near future. Citing pending deals, the manager refused to disclose the estimated hike in fees.
New Site Opens!
The new site has opened! Odds are very good that you are reading this on the front page! Some new improvements: the new layout serves as a cool portal for Andkon.com. Since many people who play at the arcade come thru the main page, I thought I'd spice it up so people get more Andkon.com. The making of this site and the details of Operation Trojan Lizard are also online. My comic strips are also online, featuring two new strips. An entire info section is also online. Stuf Archives also got a slight makeover, though I'm still working on how to reduce the page size.
By this time tomorrow...
... this blog will be on the frontpage! There are a few kinks to be worked out and a few articles written for the new site relaunch/rejuvenation. The new site will serve as a more focused portal for my empire than now. BTW, these retarded animals are funny.
T-minus a day
The layout of the new website is complete. Since the first entry will be seen on the new front page, this entry is also kind of a test to see how the layout behaves. Hopefully the layout doesn't crash, links show up fine, BIG TEXT with span style sttributes shows up, and this image also shows up:
New Site Soon and My Anus is Bleeding
The new site is coming along just fine. Ready for launch BEFORE xmas. And just to keep people on the edge of their seats, it's going to finally reveal the contents of Operation Trojan Lizard, my failed attempt at a hilarious joke.
I have finally decided that the Rejected Video is the funniest cartoon ever in the world. Featuring hits like "My spoon is too big!" and "My anus is bleeding!" it's a truly LMAO deal.
Best Song in the World
While I'm remaking the site, enjoy yourself with the best song in the world ever written.
Even more new things to come: comics (2), new stuf archives layout (so it's not a freaking mile long), and some other shit.
And one more thing: Some German guy sent me an email today proclaiming that my essay "is the first time that someone has exposed the idiocy prevailing in mozilla." Well, I'm charmed.
The new homepage is being tailored as we speak. I (re-)made the logo already! It's gonna be sooooo cool. Apart from the cool logo, the new frontpage will feature the an /info section, which has been lacking since January 2003. The blog will be on the front page, as well as links of the headlines of the the last X number of entries. It's gonna be so cool! I'm gonna work on it all day tomorrow, so hopefully, I'll get it up real soon! And yes, the frontpage will have an entire area devoted to my picture, though it's not going to be as blatant as today's design.
The arcade is literally growing at an alarming rate. Alarming as in "waking up and guessing that you got a fat slut pregnant" alarming. Here's a few stats from Monday thru today (at 9PM): 650MB used on Mon, 750 MB used on Tues, 800 MB on Wed, 900MB on Thurs, and 950MB today, and there's still two hours left! As I only have 35 gigs per month, I'm starting to reach unsustainable levels. While donations are coming in, I'll have to rev up the rhetoric to fit the current crisis, or to be more exact: current "let's avoid" a crisis. I'm expecting over 25,000 pageviews today, with over 2000 visitors. Considering I had less than 100 visitors per day on any given summer day, that's pretty good. I'm calculating that the average rise of visitors each week increases by about 15%. Not bad considering search engines hate me and I barely get any links from other sites. Word of mouth, all the way.
Busy Week... School Over... Creativity
Well then! School is finally over, for a short time at least. I made a 99.83 (Yeah, the grading is kinda twisted) on my Yurp History final (also known as Eouprean History or QWERTY History as well). Although the test was out of 120% (meaning missing 20% would still get a 100, as with me), it felt like crap. It was impossible. Apart from the usual "A) Vague Fact #1 B) Some other random crap #2 C) something that also could be the answer D) Sometimes B and always C but never A E) some of the above but more than not B F) I messed the letters to this questions", there were too many questions that ended with EXCEPT. It's hard to pick out what the right thing is from a bunch of vague choices, but it's even harder to pick out the wrong one... I also didn't like that no one sent me the memo telling me that a third of the final was over the NEW stuff which I didn't bother to read in the first place. Oh well. I guess I'm not gonna complain about getting a 100 and making an A (I was borderline, I got bumped from a 88 to a 91 or something). It'd be kinda ironic NOT to get an A in Yurp History though. I also hate how the history book is so damn political correct. They don't pur Oriental for God knows what crazy reason. But then they got to pick on the Hungarians. Hungarians is kind of a historical mistake since it wasn't the Huns who lived there etc. However, writing it as Magyars (as Hungarians call themselves) is stupid. No one can prounounce it. It's like BLAH BLAH SHIT BLAH. Put something easy to pronounce, none of this political correctness crap. So if anyone else ever asks me how to pronounce Magyar, I'll say Hungarian. Or shove it up your ass. I like the last one better.
The cockulus didn't go too well. Though I don't really care because of logistics. Since I know I have a B or B+ in English, an A in Yurpean Studies of Historical Europe, even a C in math can't sink the almighty USS Four-point-ohhhhh. That's right, Captain Jack at the helms and he's not letting go of this vessel!
I might have Man Shoe withdrawl next semester. To my knowledge, I am the only person in the entire world who had the same guy for three whole classes a day, half my classes in other words. Three classes, same teacher, half the day. Wow, weird, crazy. I'm hooked. Replacement and benchwarmers for next semester then include: Fart History and Last Century's Music and an extra free period. Basically porn commisioned as art thru old statues and some other class and looking at my website stats while freshman try to be funny but aren't. I can't wait for the wonderful hit "El Grillo" and the Sack Butt in music.
A new frontpage for Andkon has been developed. In fact, it's been ready since September. In fact it's going to REVEAL the all important contents of OPERATION TROJAN LIZARD! Indeed! The new frontpage will still have my "100 series of me" pics, but will include this very blog in the front. This way, typing in ANDKON.COM will get you to here. Hmmm... Whatever.
Due to my free time, I'm going to be making the Pope in 2004 page (where I run to be the next pope). Also, MANY MANY real articles are coming. Some serious and some hilarious. If I ever get hold of a barbecue pit, I'm going to burn James Joyce's two books: Crap called Dubliners and Even More Crap names "The Shitty Life of the Shit as a Shitty Young Shit". James Joyce has got to the be the worst writer of the last century. Make that millennium for more impact.
And finally, the last 151 entires are going to retire from this active blog. They will be archived later this week at Stuf Archives, DUH. This way, you can read all 151 boner inducing entries at once. If you print it out and tell me that it makes a great book, I might even autograph it for you.